


Forlorn

by ihaikyuuii



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: How Do I Tag, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, What Was I Thinking?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:07:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29742654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ihaikyuuii/pseuds/ihaikyuuii
Summary: Struck by an unfamiliar feelings at once.Overwhelmed by emotions never felt before.Left in solitude to rot.Dead in so many ways, but still breathing.A Miya Osamu x Suna Rintarou fan fiction that pained me to write, but i hope it does not pain you.
Relationships: Miya Atsumu & Miya Osamu, Miya Osamu/Suna Rintarou
Kudos: 6





	Forlorn

**Author's Note:**

> A little trigger warning!!!!! If you are sensitive to s*icide, pls do NOT read or skip that certain part since its nothing major!!!!! Enjoy :)

_ September 4 _ _ th _ _ 2018. _

_ It was coming up again, the flowers were coming up again. _

_ Clenching onto the heavy air in the atmosphere, he coughed up another set of flowers, blood covering its delicate petals. _

_ Gloriosa Lilies. _

_ “Flowers that grow in your lungs as a result of unrequited love represent your lover’s personality.” The doctor had said to him when he was diagnosed 2 weeks prior. _

_ “We have another name for your kinds of cases.” _

_ His heart was heavy. His chest tight, so tight that he couldn’t breathe.  _

_ The feeling was that of having an anxiety attack, except it was lasted longer and hurt more.  _

_ It wasn’t this bad for the others, mostly because they didn’t have poison growing in their lungs.  _

_ But it was what he was cursed with. _

_ It was what he had brought upon himself. _

_ It was a disease. _

_ “Forlorn.” _

_ \---------------------------------------- _

** 9 months prior... **

** “ ** Asa  Asa ! Tsukasa, where are you?” Miya Osamu called out, cupping his hands around his mouth to make his voice seem louder.

For the past 4 hours, Osamu had searched most probably all of Hyogo for the cat with fur white as snow. The cat with the missing stark blue eye and a fierce look but soft heart. 

“ _ Tsukasa?” _

His voice was warm, but distant. As if he were mocking the name, but Osamu didn’t take offense to the stranger’s snarky tone.

“Have you seen her?” Osamu rushed to the stranger, hope radiating off of him like radioactive waves.

“Are you talking about the cat with one eye missing?” He  spoke .

“Yes! Tsukasa!” Osamu’s eyes widened.

“No, I haven’t seen her for a while.”

He deflated, like a balloon.

“ _ Oh.”  _ Osamu took a deep breath. “I apologize for being a bother then.”

“I hope you find,” The stranger leaned in until the two were on eye level, “ _ Tsukasa.” _

And he walked away.

“Wait!” The words flew out of Osamu’s mouth like a spell. 

The man paused; the smirk that rested on his thin lips never left. He brought his hand up to brush it through his disheveled brown hair, brushing his bangs away from his grey eyes. Rather than being considered tall, he was more on the lanky side, his slim figure concealed by his heavy coat.

“ _ Yes?”  _

Talking to him felt like walking on thin ice, frightening and unpredictable.

“Can you help me find her?” Osamu pleaded.

“Why?” His replies were short; it wasn’t a likeable trait but it wasn’t a despisable one either.

“You already know what she looks like and it would be great help because she means a lot to...” He trailed off, staring down at his gloved hands.

_ It was cold that day, December 14 _ _ th _ _ 2017. _

_ “ _ We can meet here every Saturday to look for Tsukasa, just one day. Please help me.” Osamu spoke, overly enthusiastic; bowing to the man whose glance was as cold as ice.

“ _ Ok, every Saturday be here at 6 pm sharp, if you are even 2 minutes late, I'll leave you.”  _ It was a threat, a harmless one but a taunt at Osamu nonetheless. 

But he was grateful that someone was kind enough to help him. 

“Let's work well together!” He bowed once more.

“ _ Suna  _ _ Rintarou _ ,” Osamu looked up at him in confusion, “ _ It’s my name, Suna Rintarou.”  _

_ “ _ Oh! I’m Miya Osamu, nice to meet you!”

There it was, the smirk. 

He walked away.

\------------------------------------------

_ December 16 _ _ th _ _ 2017. _

Two days later, Miya Osamu found himself waiting impatiently for the arrival of the strange but  good-looking man.

“He’s late.” Osamu sighed, slightly annoyed at the impolite antics of the man. 

“Who is?” 

There he was, Suna Rintarou. 

He was panting, a puff of smoke leaving his mouth every time he breathed out. He had two umbrellas in his hand, a black one and a red one.

“The forecast said it would rain today so I bought some umbrellas.” He held the umbrellas up as if he were showing them to Osamu.

“I think you read tomorrow’s forecast instead of todays. It’s supposed to be supposed to be sunny all day today.” Osamu chuckled.

“No, I read the right one.” Suna frowned. 

“Sure Suna- kun .” Osamu turned his back to the frowning boy and started walking. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” Suna caught up with him, smiling slightly. 

“Nothing.” He picked up his pace. 

The two, somewhere in the middle, forgot that they had met to search for a certain cat and chattered like life-long friends, bickering every now and then over small things but ending it with laughter.

“Cats tend to hide in car engines in winters, did you know that?” Osamu spoke, breaking the comfortable silence.

“I don’t drive so I wouldn’t know.” Suna looked over to the  gray-haired boy.

“What? That’s common sense! I don’t drive either and I know that!” He let out a whole-hearted laugh. 

“How is that common sense?” 

And they bickered again.

_ That day, it did rain. _

\-------------------------------------------

_ 20 _ _ th _ _ December 2017. _

_ “Only three more days.”  _

Three days until he met the handsome man that he had fallen for too hard.

It was strange; looking forward to seeing someone so much despite meeting them once was strange. But then again, it felt like they had known each other since the previous life, and maybe they had. 

Time passed especially slow since their first proper meeting, it felt like tomorrow would never come for Suna Rintarou. 

“ _ What kind of a mother do you call yourself? You crazy bitch!”  _

Again. 

They were fighting again.

“ _ Do you think you’re any better? Look at you acting like a man after paying the electricity bills!”  _ His mother’s voice cracked towards the end.

“ _ Oh, _ _ really now, let me leave for a month and then we’ll see how you survive!”  _ Their voices got louder, it all got scarier.

“ _ Are you  _ _ gonna _ _ run away like you always do? First with Rintarou’s middle school teacher, then your secretary-” _

_ Slam. _

The door to Suna’s room opened, it seemed heavier than usual.

His mother was on the floor, her hand on her face, tears falling down her cheeks uncontrollably.

His father was standing above her, panting. A frustrated look covered his wrinkled features

“ _ Do you two think you are good parents? No, both of you are terrible, absolutely horrific! You always fight and I'm sick of it! One of your kids might be gone but the other half is still here so for god’s sake, be a little humble. Or at least try.”  _ Suna’s patience had reached its limit as he shouted out loudly in one breath.

“I’m not coming back for the night.” He said behind his back, a black backpack hanging off his shoulder. 

_ He was used to it. He was used to the violence. _

_ He had been exposed to it ever since he could breathe.  _

_ He was used to it. _

_ He wasn’t used to it. _

\------------------------------------------

_ uly 15 _ _ th _ _ 2015, _

_ “Sakura! Please get down! We’ll get through this together, like we always have! Just please get down, for me!” _

_ Suna was on his knees, begging his little sister to get of the ledge of the building roof top.  _

_ “It’s always for someone  _ _ else, _ _ isn’t it?” She whimpered. _

_ Suna’s eyes widened in  _ _ realization _ _.  _

_ “Why is it always about others? Why can’t it be about me?” Sakura yelled, not turning back to look at her brother. _

_ “I’m sorry Sakura. I love you, please don’t do this. Please Sakura.” His voice was shaky, he was afraid. _

_ “Eat well Rin, I love you.”  _

_ And she jumped. _

_ \--------------------------------------------- _

_ December 23th 2017 _

The day had come. 

The day that arrived ever so slowly, but was worth the wait for. 

Suna had arrived earlier than usual, in anticipation of seeing his new  favourite person in the world. 

It was unusual for him to want to get close to someone after the passing of his sister, but he was sure it would make her happy. 

“Sakura, I hope you are watching me and telling all the angels in heaven to pray for this to go right.” Suna whispered underneath his breath. 

“Suna!” His ears perked as he lifted his head in joy. 

“You’re early today!” Osamu said, his ears turning red.

“No, you are late.” Suna scoffed.

“It’s 5:56 though. I’m not late.” Osamu smiled smugly, showing Suna the lock screen of his phone, where the time was written.

“Well, the time on your phone is wrong.” Suna hurriedly pulled out his phone, in hopes to prove Osamu wrong. 

“Your phone says its 5:56 too.” The shorter boy said, laughing out loud.

“Shut up.” Suna looked away, a red blush coating his cheeks.

“Stop laughing or I'm leaving you here!” Suna exclaimed, feeling even more  embarrassed . 

“I’m sorry, don’t leave please.” Osamu grabbed onto Suna, still laughing. 

“I’m leaving.” 

Suna turned on his heels, prepared to walk away.

“Wait.” 

Osamu grabbed Suna’s arm, right below his elbow and pulled him towards his laughing self. Losing control over his legs, Suna stumbled onto Osamu, wrapping his arms around him in a loose embrace. 

_ His heart pounded. _

“I’m sorry.” Suna pulled himself away from Osamu as if  he had hurt him, dusted off his clothes with his hands and cleared his throat.

“You sure are clumsy, aren’t you?” Osamu giggled. 

It was the first time he had giggled like that. He somewhat felt like a timid school girl walking across her crush, but maybe that is what it was.

“I’m  gonna leave you here.” Suna turned around, ready to walk away.

“There you go again with those empty threats.” 

\---------------------------------------------------------

_ December 27 _ _ th _ _ 2017 _

Osamu was glad to have a friend like Suna who let a ray of light shine into his life again. 

It wasn’t long ago when Osamu stopped being kind, when he shut  everyone out. 

He believed he was the victim, and he was. 

But lives lost could never come back. 

Of course, Osamu knew that his twin brother was a lost case, but he still hoped that  Atsumu would be able to walk and talk and be healthy again. 

“Oi ‘ Tsumu , wake up you jerk, I’m here to visit you.” Osamu kicked the leg of the hospital bed  Atsumu Miya resided in. 

Was there really any hope? The elder twin was relying on a machine to keep him alive. It was miserable for both parties, to the watchers that watch the patient suffer; and to the patient; who bores all the agony.

At times like this, when  Atsumu would get paler and his breathing would feel shakier, Osamu would cry.

He would cry for his older brother, who did nothing to deserve the pain he was going through. 

_ Don’t attach yourself to people. _

It was a common phrase that Osamu had heard growing up, and he followed it like a mantra. 

_ “I’m sorry but, the chances of your son waking up from this are almost 0%. I think it’s better if we turn off the machines and let him go. It would hurt him less-”  _ The doctor spoke, in heavy hopes of convincing the twins’ parents. 

_ “But it will hurt us more!”  _ His father raised his voice.

The figure of his mother was slouched, his father’s arm around her shaking figure. She was crying. 

The three were standing right by the door of the luxurious private hospital room. 

_ “Aren’t you being a little too selfish?”  _ Osamu spoke, his voice low but was heard well.

“Osamu, don’t interfere when the adults are talking.” His father replied, his tone strict.

“Absolute  _ bullshit. _ You two really want  Atsumu to live just so he can take over the company and you can feed off of it like pigs!” 

His father was appalled.

“ Atsumu is my brother, I know what he is feeling more than anything. Right now, I know that he is in pain and he wants to be in peace.  _ So why can’t we just let him go? _ ” 

Osamu was seated on the uncomfortable chair besides  Atsumu’s bed. His body was crouched, his elbows supported by the soft bed mattress. He was holding onto  Atsumu’s hand as tightly as he could; tears dripping down his cheeks. 

“Miya Osamu!” 

His mother hadn’t spoken to Osamu for weeks, but when she did finally bother; it was to yell at him.

“Let’s face it,  Atsumu isn’t coming back. And if we don’t let him go, neither am I.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------

_ Author’s edition >.< _

_ Forlorn: A disease caused by the absence of someone you used to love or a love that is felt unrealized (by your partner). This disease, much like the  _ _ hanahaki _ _ disease, causes flowers to grow in your lungs. The only difference is that the flowers that grow in Forlorn disease are poisonous and can kill you within 4 weeks (one’s physique does not slow down this process or prevent it from being severe.) _

_ OK BACK TO THE STORY IM SO SORRY!!!!!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~ _

\--------------------------------------------------------------

_ December 30 _ _ th _ _ 2017. _

Miya Osamu did not fulfill his promise. 

He missed the one day to see his only friend. A friend whom he was linked to through a cat that didn’t want to be found. 

Miya Osamu had deemed himself a coward by not coming to the spot under the cherry blossom tree. 

“Times like this I regret not asking for his phone number.” Suna hit his head lightly, cursing at himself for the foolish mistake. 

It never came into mind for the two gentlemen to exchange contact numbers, because when they were together; they forgot everything existed. 

For Suna  Rintarou , Osamu was like a cherry blossom tree. 

Once you see it, you want to see it again and again because it is just that breathtaking.

“Please come Miya Osamu.”

For a second, Suna thought of staying where he was, when it started raining, like  Domyouji Tsukasa waited for Makino Tsukushi. But once he  realised how cold it really was, he ran with his tail between his legs to the soup shop across the park where the cherry blossom tree was. 

“He didn’t come.”

\--------------------------------------------------------------

_ January 6 _ _ th _ _ 2018 _

_ 6 pm _ . 

The clock had struck past 6 long ago, but Miya Osamu was still nowhere to be seen.

It hurt; like someone had grabbed Suna’s hair and shoved him into a brick wall. 

“We only met two times.” Suna whispered to himself. 

_ Grey hair. _

He saw him, Miya Osamu in the flesh. 

“Come on dude! I’ll pay for your drinks!” His friend exclaimed. He was tall, his eyes sharp and hair dyed an electric blue. He looked like quite a boaster to Suna. 

“Sure buddy.” He smirked at his friend. 

Suna rushed forward, grabbing the sleeve of the leather jacket ‘Osamu’ was wearing. 

“Osamu! Where have you been? I was worri-” Suna began into a long rant cut short. 

“Who are you?” 

“Huh?” Suna looked up, his eyes wide.

“Do you know him?” The man that, much to Suna’s surprise, wasn’t Osamu, spoke to his friend. 

“I’m so sorry! I mistook you for my friend! I’m sorry!” Suna exclaimed. The tips of his ears turning red in  embarrassment . 

“Have a good night! I’m sorry.” 

The men weren’t problematic and left without thinking much of the situation which was a big relief for Suna. 

“ _ I can’t believe you are still here.” _

Suna turned around, his expectations rising once again.

“Go home kiddo! It’s dangerous at night.” The senile lady spoke to Suna. 

Perhaps she was the only one that saw through Suna’s desperation. The only one that witnessed the hurt in his eyes every time a certain grey-haired boy would ditch him.

“Alright Grandma! Please go home safely!” He bowed to her. 

“He’ll come soon, so don’t feel discouraged!” She said, with a smile worth a million pearls.

“I hope so.” 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

_ January 20 _ _ th _ _ 2018 _

_ “You missed 3 Saturdays, what made you want to show up on the 4 _ _ th _ _ one?”  _ Suna said out loud, glaring at the man before him.

“I guessed you’d come,” Osamu said, looking over his shoulder at Suna, “I was right.”

“Why did you come?” Suna looked down. 

“I wanted to.”

“Is it up to you now? Whether you are in the mood to come or not?” Suna snapped, a permanent frown etched on his prominent features. 

“I didn’t think you’d be this upset.” Osamu looked down at his plain white shoes.

“I didn’t wait just 1 hour Osamu, I waited for you for 3 Saturdays. Do you think I have nothing to do?” 

“ _ Well, _ _ if you waited 3 Saturdays, you must have nothing to do.” _ Osamu’s gaze while looking at Suna was soft but his words were harsh.

A pause followed Osamu’s snarky remark. 

“I’m sorry for not showing up, I didn’t know you’d be this mad at me. I’m really sorry, ok?” Osamu turned towards Suna. 

“It’s alright.” Suna sighed, “We don’t have to see each other anymore, I found Tsukasa.”

Osamu’s eyes lit up like a  Christmas tree on Christmas Eve.

“Really? Where was she?” 

“Apparently, an old lady and her husband down the street took her in since it was cold and didn’t let her out.”

“But why does that mean we don’t have to see each other?” Osamu took a quick glance at Suna, who was walking beside him. 

“What do you mean?” Suna stopped walking. 

“What if I want to see you?” Osamu whispered.

“What if I don’t want to?” Suna harshly rejected. 

He walked away from a starstruck Osamu who was unfamiliar to rejection. 

“But what if you’re my only friend?” Osamu spoke up, his voice loud and clear.

“And what if I get attached again?” Suna stopped walking but didn’t turn around. 

“What if I am already attached?” The older boy said. 

Suna finally turned around and fixated his gaze of Miya Osamu who had tears in his eyes. 

He took a step closer to the shorter boy, and gradually took another.

Three steps closer.

Four steps closer.

Five steps and he was standing only a few  centimeters away from Osamu, looking down at him. 

“What if I want to kiss you?” Suna whispered. 

“That’s gay Rintarou.” 

Without paying mind to Osamu’s last words, Suna locked lips with him. His lips were warm and pleasant, they tasted of warmth. 

He was unsure of whether his on breath was pleasant or not but he just went along with it. 

It was a dream. Kissing Miya Osamu was like a dream, his lips were softer than feathers. 

The kiss was tender but short lived.

_ He kissed back. _

\--------------------------------------------------------------

_ January 23th 2018. _

Three days.

It had been three days since Suna made the impulsive decision of locking lips with Osamu.

He had thought of telling him that it was a dare, but that seemed too insensitive. 

After kissing Osamu that night, Suna had walked away faster than the speed of light. 

He was afraid of what would happen next. 

At times like  _ this,  _ he was grateful Osamu didn’t have his phone number.

“You have to face him some day Rintarou.” He whispered to himself. 

“Let’s face him tomorrow.” 

He put his blanket over himself and tried to sleep in broad daylight. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------

_ “Osamu, we need to talk.”  _ Osamu’s parents entered his room. 

“What is it this time?” 

“ _ We’ve decided to let  _ _ Atsumu _ _ go.”  _

Those words shouldn’t have hurt as much as they did. Rather than relief, the feeling of upset rushed through Osamu’s veins. He was sorrowful. 

“Thank you.” He said, after a long pause. 

The feeling wasn’t anything special, Osamu wanted to get rid of it but it wouldn’t go away. It was similar to the feeling of an anxiety attack; a feeling Osamu was no stranger to.

“No, thank  _ you _ son. You gave us the wakeup call we needed. We just weren’t ready to let him go.” His mother patted his shoulder as a form of reassurance. 

“I know, I’m not ready either. He is just in pain because of-” He cut himself off, not wanting to say what was on his mind. “I’m glad he won’t be in pain anymore. And I'm sorry if my words hurt you.”

“We love you, just know that.” His father spoke. 

“I love you too.” He said; sincerely.

His parents had rose from their places on the comfortable couches, and made their way to the huge mahogany door. 

Osamu was unsure whether he wanted to reveal the truth to them or not, but he  realised if  Atsumu was going to die; he might as well die in truth. 

_ “Wait!”  _ He called out; his tone rushed. 

“What is it?” His father spoke, his arm wrapped around his wife’s shoulder. 

“I don’t know how to say this without making it sound insensitive and selfish but...” He trailed off.

“You can be honest with us Osamu.” His parents were fully facing Osamu, who was standing under the chandelier in his  room.

“ _ Atsumu _ _ faked his illness.” _

\--------------------------------------------------------------

_ Author’s addition (2) >.< _

_ I’ll be writing a whole separate story for  _ _ Atsumu _ _ and how he reached to a point where he relied on a machine to live so my dear readers please look forward to it <3 _

\--------------------------------------------------------------

_ January 27 _ _ th _ _ 2018\.  _

The birds were chirping as happily as ever, the sky wasn’t gray anymore. The sun was out and the morning bird was flying through the air, boasting its freedom. The cool breeze rushed past every being, late to arrive at its next destination. 

It was the perfect definition of a pleasant day, for everyone except Miya Osamu who had been dreading this very day. 

_ It was Saturday _ .

He knew he didn’t have to see Suna  Rintarou since they had found the cat, but he felt that Suna would be waiting for him. 

He didn’t want to go, but he felt responsible to. 

He was sure if  Atsumu was alive, he would push Osamu out the door, so he went to see Suna Rintarou.

“ _ Suna?” _

He was there. Right where Osamu stood when they first met.

The wall behind Suna had outgrown vines that needed to be cut, petite, pink flowers that Osamu didn’t recognize. There was a communication pole right above him, which connected a long wire; pole to pole. And a cherry blossom tree, hanging out against the wall.

Amongst it all, Suna stood out like an angel. 

“Osamu!” A small smile covered Suna’s face as he walked towards Osamu. 

Suna went in for a hug which Osamu avoided, making the situation more awkward  than it should've been. 

“Do you  wanna come over to my house?” Osamu proposed, instantly regretting his idea.

Suna’s rigid structure relaxed, his smile tracing his face again.

“Sure.” He accepted. 

Osamu turned around to walk to the direction he came from, without paying attention to the truck that was travelling down the road. 

Like a deer in headlights, Osamu turned his head, startled because of the loud honk. 

He felt a force pull him sideways. He collided with Suna, taking him down as he fell on the hard concrete. 

“You should be careful.” Suna whispered, wrapping his arms around Osamu.

“At least you got the hug you wanted.” Osamu said, burying his face unknowingly into Suna’s neck.

“Yeah.” Suna’s chest vibrated as he burst into silent laughter. 

The pair patted the dust off themselves and continued their journey to Osamu’s house. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I thought we were going to your house?” Suna was confused by Osamu’s actions. 

He would move further away from Suna every 7 minutes; he would avoid eye contact when a conversation would begin and would flinch every time Suna lifted his hand. It was all very strange and saddening.

“I thought this place would be better.” Osamu muttered.

“I hate  cemeteries .”

“You should’ve said so in the beginning. We can’t leave without paying someone a visit.” Osamu stated; his tone harsher than the bark of the trees they walked past.

“Who?” Suna asked out of curiosity.

“My whole life.”

“Romant-” Suna cut himself short of his prying questions and figured it would be better to just flow with the wind.

“It’s my older brother, he had his funeral a few days ago,” Osamu looked down at his feet. “But he died almost a year ago.”

“Oh.” 

“Aren’t you  gonna say ‘I’m sorry for your loss’ or something like that?” Osamu mocked, chuckling quietly to himself afterwards.

“No, because I know pity is the last thing you need right now.” Suna sighed. 

“You seem to be an expert at all sorts of things.” The laughed out loud in unison. 

“I’m just that perfect I guess.” Suna boasted.

A comfortable silence hung over the atmosphere, one that was always present when both of the men were quiet. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“ _ Let’s stop meeting up.” _

The two were sitting by Miya  Atsumu’s freshly dug grave. There were several of piles of bouquets of flowers and a single daisy resting on top of the pile. 

Silence had engulfed the night, the two boys too exhausted and annoyed to let out their actual feelings. 

The wind had eaten them  whole; Osamu almost didn’t hear what Suna had said to him.

All the senses that had been knocked out of him for a brief moment returned to him. 

“What?” He was shocked; his mouth agape.

“I don't want to be friends with you.” Suna whispered; a pained expression taking over his face. 

“ _ No. _ ” Not being able to meet his eyes, Osamu looked at his brother’s gravestone. 

“Why not?” Suna’s voice quivered. 

“Because,” Osamu began. “ _ I need you _ .”

“I’ve been giving my whole life without wanting anything in return, always have been selfless;  _ too selfless.” _ A tear escaped. “ _ Let me be selfish this once.”  _

_ “Be selfish with someone else. I won’t allow you to.” _

Osamu stood from his position on the ground, terrified of the situation he was in.

“ _ Why not?” _ He asked again. 

“ _ There shouldn’t be a reason for everything.” _ Osamu turned on the balls of his feet and walked as fast as he could. 

As his walk was about to turn into a jog; Osamu felt a strong force pulling him back. 

_ Lips. _

They were kissing again. 

Each time their lips parted; the need for each other became stronger, and so their mouths collided again in perfect harmony. As if it was something already written; and rewritten a thousand times.

All of their passion, rage and desire went out to that one moment when they were connected physically. 

When they parted, their lips were tingling. Chest heaving up and down in unplanned synchronization. 

“ _ Goodbye Miya Osamu.” _

_ \---------------------------------------------------- _

_ Author’s addition ~.~ _

_ Wow  _ _ im _ _ so annoying I know, ‘goodbye’ here is actually “Sayanora” which is a phrase only used when you don’t plan to meet someone again.  _

_ Anygays _ __ _ beta ( _ _ the one editing this) say hi to the people reading  _ _ >.< _

_ Beta edit; hewwooooo _

_ \---------------------------------------------------- _

_ June 14 _ _ th _ _ 2018 _

February, March, April. May had gone by too. Months that felt like years, seconds that turned into minutes. Time passed; life moved on and the winds changed but Suna  Rintarou did not return. 

Osamu lay on his bed, pondering upon how someone could disappear so easily. 

He wished his memory of Osamu faded just like a puff of smoke.

The moment their lips would meet, it would feel like a promise. A promise that he would never leave, that they would never give up on each other. 

“ _ He broke our promise.” _ Osamu whispered, flipping on his stomach. “ _ I hate him.”  _

_ He missed him.  _

Suna flipped to his back, his bloody knuckles staining the pure white bedsheets. 

He couldn’t believe that the only time he used his Jujutsu skills was to beat up street rats.

He raised his hand to eye level, wishing he had someone to heal them with a sweet touch. 

Where he was; everyone wondered. 

He was where the sea peacefully slept. Where the wind whistled silently, where the trees rustled prettily. Where the butterflies flowed gracefully. He was somewhere he hadn’t imagined, but somehow found himself standing by the shore, looking over the horizon. 

Lost in his floral fantasy; he wished for a moment to place his lips back on Miya Osamu’s. 

_ He took in a deep breathe, the tight feeling in his chest felt like it would stay forever. He coughed violently.  _

Miya Osamu wanted to cry, but tears wouldn’t come out. He wanted to scream, but he had lost his voice.

\------------------------------------------------

_ IM BACK WITH ANOTHER AUTHOR’S ADDITION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! _

_ Add on for the Forlorn Disease; Rarely; the disease makes its victims lose their voice. ( _ _ its _ _ rare though) _

_ AND I wanted to say that I found a song perfect for this story. It’s called Flower Fantasy by  _ _ N.Flying _ _ ^^ ok that’s all bye  _ _ byeeeee _ _. _

_ Question; who do you think has the disease? _

_ \---------------------------------------------------- _

_ August 18 _ _ th _ _ 2018 _

Suna walked down the blind corner with a heavy thud to his footsteps. 

He knew it was over, he knew he was the one that walked away. But their story was one that never seemed to end. 

He wished for it to never end.

He wished for a lot things, but out of it all; he wished for Miya Osamu to come and find him. 

_ It was hard.  _

It felt like Spring. When Osamu was happy. 

Osamu lay on top of the grassy hill. He had plucked a tiny daisy from its root and lay it on his chest. 

Bringing his arm to cover his eyes, he prepared to take a small nap in a place where  cicadas sang and birds flew. 

He brought his free hand to the soft petals of the daisy. 

“ _ I miss him. I miss him not.” _ He started plucking the daisies.

When he finished plucking out all the petals from one, he plucked another one. And another one after  that .

“I miss him not.” He reached to the last petal.

“ _ You miss him.” _

_ “I do miss him.”  _ His arm was still covering his vision.

Osamu had held onto every moment they had, every moment he loved and called it infatuated  _ friendship.  _

Osamu’s mouth hung open as he-as if on instinct- sat up straight and looking around, panting as though he had run a marathon.

_ Nothing.  _

_ “I even hallucinate of you now.”  _ Osamu sighed. 

“I wish it was one.” 

Osamu looked over his shoulder, in shock. 

_ Suna Rintarou. _

_ “Hello, Miya Osamu.”  _

It was as if a wave of rage had engulfed him; all he saw was red. He was fuming. 

Osamu took long strides towards Suna. He swung his arm; punching Suna, knocking him to the group. 

Suna brought his hand to his cheek, where he was hit and stayed silent; looking at the ground. For just that one minute; it felt like time had stopped. The trees had stopped rustling and the birds had been hushed of their  rhythmic singing. 

A gush of wind flew past them, flowing through their hair and clothes. 

“ _ Why are you here? Do I even know you? Who are you?”  _ Osamu asked one question after another. 

“I...” Suna picked himself up without much difficulty and dusted himself off. 

“Can’t I be here? This is my hometown.” Suna provoked. 

“ _ Why are you in front of me?”  _ Osamu rephrased his question. 

“Because I want to be here...” Suna walked forward a few steps. “In front of you.”

“You know what I want?” Osamu took a step further this time. 

“I’ll do anything to make it come true.” A frown had taken over Suna’s features. 

“ _ I want you dead and gone.” _

_ \------------------------------------------------ _

_ Gloriosa Lilies. _

_ They were beautiful flowers. _

_ Flowers that attract, flowers that kill you softly, leaving behind only scars from the pain.  _

_ Flowers that represented Toxicity and Death. Flowers that were laid out at funerals, that was what kind of a flower a Lily was; a gloomy flower.  _

_ A flower that was despised, but at the same time appreciated for its overly soft petals and the comfort it provided. That level of comfort which could not be achieved through any form of human contact or words. _

_ Lilies that knew of the suffering of humans. Flowers that understood the meaning of losing someone.  _

_ But the one that knows and understands is also the one that slanders and shatters.  _

_ The poison, the tempting poison that was pleasing to both sight and smell. Poison, that once consumed and reproduced, cannot be reversed. _

_ That was the end.  _

_ The end for the one that fell into the merciless trap of seduction and lust. Blood lust. _

_ The darkness had never seemed to be darker.  _

_ The suffocation had taken over. _

_ And just like that, it was the end for the one that dared to love.  _

_ \----------------------------------------------------- _

_ August 19 _ _ th _ _ 2018,  _

The season where the leaves fell had come. The season where the hearts withered had come. Where flowers died and left behind only their sweet scent. 

_ The season of the forlorn had arrived.  _

Every being that was slowly being killed by that one-sided love, hoped for the flower inside of them to wither and take away all the pain and the memories. 

To love was to lose. To lose your life, to lose the one you love.

There was a rock in his throat, one he was unable to cough up.

It was one that wouldn’t kill, but would pain him. 

To die was to lose a battle that was fought for what felt like an eternity. To die was to be helpless.

The petals that were supposed to fall in grace, fell with the blood of the pristine. 

He coughed with all his might in hopes that the object stuck in his throat would come out and stop being a nuisance to him. 

Suddenly, breathing was a term unknown to the young man, and all he could do was hope to live.

Pain that hurt more than a thousand bullet wounds, sorrow that spread like a virus. HIs chest felt empty, like someone had ripped out his heart. 

Amidst the silence, only desperate gasps were heard. 

_ He was the one that was dead and gone.  _

\---------------------------------------------------

_ August 21 _ _ st _ _ 2018  _

He felt frail.

Like someone senile on their deathbed.

The world felt somewhat dimmer. Like there was a fuse.  An unfixable fuse. 

The need to see the one that made him feeble grew more each day. 

_ Drop. _

Suna  Rintarou dropped to the floor, unable to keep his group.

His legs felt like sticks, easy to break. 

He curled himself into a ball, coughing up more blood. 

_ A purple flower. _

It was the first purple flower, the beginning to a sea of flowers.

_ The beginning of Forlorn. _

\-------------------------------------------------------------

_ UNEXPECTED????????????????????? MAYBE. DHBCHDBCDH don’t kill me pls I value my life very much and I love  _ _ osasuna _ _ but I had to. Also, people of the gc, SUCK IT I DIDNT GIVE IT TO OSAMU YALL WERE SO WRONG FOR SUCH AN UNFAIR VOTING.  _

\-------------------------------------------------------------

September 8 th 2018\. 

“ _ Your call has been forwarded to an automated voice message system. The number dialed is not available. At the tone, please record your message. When you’ve finished recoding you may hang up, or press one for more options.” _

_ “I guess you really wanted me dead and gone huh...”  _ His voice was raspy, almost  incomprehensible . 

“ _ Well, you’ll be happy to know your wishes are coming true!!”  _ His voice sounded enthusiastic but lacked emotion at the same time. 

Like he was already dead. 

“ _ I don’t know if you’ve been listening to my messages or not, but today will be the last message I’ll send.”  _ Fear traced his hoarse voice. 

“ _ You don’t understand my pain Osamu, I wish you could...”  _

_ “Fuck, I really wish you could Osamu Miya but...”  _ Suna trailed off. 

“ _ I wish you were here to help it stop and to tell me you love me-”  _ He cut himself off. “ _ Well, I guess you don’t love me since you gave me this disease.  _

_ “Truth is, I love you Osamu. I love you so much. I’ve loved you for a long time, and if I could have one thing in the world right now, it would be...”  _

_ “It would be for time to turn back so I wouldn’t make the stupid choice of leaving, so I could stay by you and tell you that everything was going to be ok.”  _

_ “Saying I have family issues and mental health issues won’t justify the pain I put you through.” _

_ “I want today to be the last day of you and I being in pain.” _

\-------------------------------------------------------------

Miya Osamu too, was in agony. 

He had been hurt, or so he thought. 

Pain wasn’t new to him, but it wasn’t a welcomed feeling. 

His heart throbbed with overwhelming emotions, not allowing him to breathe as he sobbed into his pillow.

He had played it one too many times. 

The voice message from Suna Rintarou. 

Someone whom he never loved, yet grew attached to. Someone who he didn’t want to be with, yet allowed intimacy with him. 

Was the feeling of being with Suna  Rintarou that euphoric? That he lost all taste of the actual world? That he wanted nothing else but him? Now that he was really gone?

The distinct chattering of the people on the news channel caught Osamu’s attention. Sniffling his stuffed nose, his wretched sobs turned into silent weeping. 

“ _ It was recently reported that a 19-year-old college freshman has hung himself on a tree at a hill top in Hyogo. The young man was said to be pronounced dead at around 4:00 am in the morning...” _ The news anchor rambled on.

Osamu scrambled to check the time at which the voice message was sent. 

_ 3:52 am.  _

_ “The teenager’s name was Suna  _ _ Rintarou _ _ and he was included in the names of the victims of the Forlorn disease. The disease is said to have side effects of depression, constant headaches, severe coughing, weakness in body, and even disabling side effects...”  _

Time stood still. The clock was unmoving.

Sorrow and desolation restored in Osamu’s heart. 

_ Clash. _

He threw an unknown object at his large vanity mirror, letting out a pained  screech.

_ Suna  _ _ Rintarou _ _ was dead and gone. _

\--------------------------------------------------------

_ Burhan, eat my shit ; ) _

_ Anyways, should I add an epilogue or not? _


End file.
